#21: Reducing Workplace Conflict with Doug Noll
Douglas E. Noll, JD, MA left a successful career as a trial lawyer to become a peacemaker. His calling is to serve humanity, and he executes his calling at many levels. He is an award-winning author, teacher, trainer, and a highly experienced mediator. Doug’s mission carries him from international work to helping people resolve deep interpersonal and ideological conflicts to training life inmates to be peacemakers and mediators in maximum-security prisons.
Top 3 Takeaways
- Conflict is brain science—our response to emotion has a biological basis, and understanding this is key to resolving conflict in the workplace.
- Stop shouting—We yell when we feel that we’re not being heard. We can de-escalate others and ourselves when we stop the yelling and start listening to and conveying emotions.
- Prioritize leadership development—learning “soft” skills like mediation will serve you well as you progress in your leadership journey and advance in your career.
From the Source
“When people get under stress—when they're in a situation they can't handle—there are emotional centers in the brain that activate. They're going to revert right back to the last stage of their emotional development.“
“Deescalation works because we start listening to emotions rather than words. It’s done in three steps: Ignore the words, read the emotions, reflect back the emotions with a simple statement.”
“What I teach is to address the emotions before you address the words. Deescalate before you problem solve.”
“We yell at each other and argue and fight because we're not being heard. So yelling is simply an indication of not being heard. And all you have to do is listen to the emotions and the yelling stops. Because now people feel heard, they feel validated.“
“The time that you invest in building your skills and becoming an effective leader is far more valuable than increasing your technical proficiency.”
Connect with Doug